End of the Master Cleanse

Ten days of NO food, NO wine and basically NO fun, but I did it!! I drank the lemonade (which actually wasn't so bad), I drank the senna tea (disgusting) and I drank the Salt Water Flush in the mornings (truly revolting).

I won't go into the gross details that come with the Master Cleanse, there are enough blogs out there that describe all that, but this is what came from it from me:

a) a weight loss of 8 pounds
b) clearer skin
c) more energy upon waking

The one side effect I did have with this cleanse on or about Day 4, was incredible cramping. It felt like contractions. Now, despite two children, I had c-sections both times. This was not through my choice, it was because Spencer was breach and in NY they won't let you have a VBAC unless you find a doctor willing to do it (which I was unable).

I now feel qualified to say I think I know what a contraction feels like. It was really painful but unlike childbirth, it passed after an hour or so. So my respect for women who have given birth naturally has increased even more from the pinnacle it was.

I can really recommend the Master Cleanse to everyone, it just takes a huge amount of willpower.

Now bring on the fish tacos!

World Series

I realise living in New York that you would think we would be rooting for the Yankees in this World Series, but seeing as how Joe is from Philadelphia, and despite him being a Mets fan, his entire family are life long Philly fans so we are behind them. Should we be cheering on the Yankees, we would suffer the wrath of a lot of irate inlaws.

So, go Phillies!

Costumes and Cupcakes

HI
Spencer can't make up his mind what he wants to be for Halloween. He changes his mind daily from a Kronosaurus (which is a costume I cannot locate), Batman and Superman. We go through the costumes on a daily basis and I think it's going to be tears and tantrums on the actual day because he will think of something entirely different and we will be scrambling.

Margaux on the other hand is happy in her fairy costume and eating cupcakes!

My son, the deep thinker

Spencer has been learning the difference between the sounds of an acoustic guitar vs. electric at school - pretty cool lessons - when asked what he thought of when hearing the electrical he said "it's like seeing a sculpture that isn't there''

do we have a possible future Keats on our hands?

Urgh - $115 poorer

I love the police force. I really do. I think they do a fantastic job and I love the ones here in Brooklyn, they are the nicest bunch you could ever hope to have protect you. But today I got miffed with the NYPD TRAFFIC ENFORCEMENT. I decided to go to Hoboken, and see my friend Brooke and her delicious new baby. After going through the midtown tunnel and cutting through town, on 37th St, I was stuck behind a huge usps truck that blocked my view for the lights and I snuck up behind him, didn't run any lights, didn't block the street, maybe just the crosswalk for about 20 seconds and BAAM, this woman comes out of nowhere, zaps the registration, rudely tells me to pull over and in about 5 seconds issues me a ticket for $115 in the rudest manner I thought was possible. Urrgh. I'm going to fight it - stay tuned and wish me luck! She knew I wasn't really blocking the intersection but she wasn't hearing any of it. Maybe she was on the cleanse too and was as cranky as it's making me!

Master Cleanse Day 3

BLOODY TORTURE!!
Seriously, this is hard work. Thank heaven Joe and I embarked on this together, it's truly difficult. We are both such foodies and love our wine, (especially after a day with the kids!) that this is harder than we ever thought. However, we have both lost 3 pounds since we started this crazy adventure, so it's obviously working. The hardest part is cooking the kids dinner, I never knew chicken nuggets could smell so heavenly...

3 down, 7 to go...

The Master Cleanse

Joe and I have embarked on a ten day master cleanse program today. It's a few hours in and already I am starving and getting cranky at the thought of nothing 'solid' passing my lips until next Thursday. We had a big blow out in Philadelphia on Saturday night in preparation which was really fun, lots of great food and wine (thanks TT!) - stay tuned for more on this journey.

My First Posted Comments

So I did this blog for fun. Being British and living 3000 miles away in New York, I thought it would be a fun way for my friends and family back home to follow our lives, see some photos of our children, and generally get an idea of life over here.

This blog wasn't to seek any type of fame or fortune. I realise it was a window into our world and available for all and sundry to view, but what I didn't anticipate was my first comment EVER RECEIVED to be so vindictive and mean spirited - from someone I don't even know! What is this world coming to that someone thinks it's ok to write something like that?!

I made a simple comment about mapquest driving us to a complete dead end - which it did! And then when I make a comment about it, I get called stupid! I love the Bronx, I love the diversity of everyone there, the food is great, and the zoo is one of the best in the world. So if that person is still reading this blog, please stop! Or if you truly want to follow my simple life, say something pleasant or nothing at all and leave the comments for my family and friends that do enjoy it.

BTW - here are the incorrect directions from mapquest - it says the zoo is at 444 E 148th Street which is completely wrong.

http://www.mapquest.com/maps?1c=New+York&1s=ny&1a=211+E.+20th+St&2c=Bronx&2s=ny&2pn=bronx+zoo#a/maps/l::211+E+20th+St:New+York:NY:10003-1801:US:40.736856:-73.98426:address:New+York+County:1/l:Bronx+Zoo:444+E+148th+St:Bronx:NY:10455:US:40.814785:-73.916843:address::1/m::9:40.775322:-73.950593:0:::::1:1:1::/io:1:::::f:EN:M:/e

Watch out Phelps!

Spencer is turning into the finest, most confident swimmer and here are some of his highlights from his graduation of pike and eel class at the local YMCA!! He has the best instructor and the Y is one of the best places as far as I'm concerned for any child to learn how to swim.

Bronx Zoo Rules Mapquest Sucks

Hi
So after following mapquest's shitty directions to Bronx Zoo which took us to some local park in the Bronx and nowhere near the zoo, then a scale of 8 out of ten argument about the necessity of sat nav in our car, we finally came upon Bronx Zoo and had a great day. Spencer met up with his swim buddy, Ivan and together they had so much fun.

It's really one of New York's great attractions for kids. Spence had a blast running around with Ivan and it was all a bit too much for Margaux. Here are some of our highlights.
x

Boxed Wine

A few people have asked me about my interest in boxed wine.

I will share this with you shortly.

Smelly Knackered Mums

Yesterday my friend Rachel and her two kids came over for a play date. Rachel is a fellow Brit from Liverpool. We met in 1989 when we both came over to Washington DC to be Au Pairs. Fast forward twenty years later, and we are both in living in Brooklyn, married to Americans with a boy and girl each. What I love about her is that we both don't have to make a huge effort when we get together, it's just as is. We've known each other long enough to know that when we need to pull it together we will, but who has the time to get spruced up to go to the swings? Getting two kids out of the door is hard enough.

After both lamenting that neither of us had showered, neither of us had slept (teething, colds, nightmares) and that we were both waaay overdue a hair colour (but who has the time?). We trundled off to the park, kids in tow to find a slew of other mum's that looked all the in the same boat as us. There was one slummy mummy who was drop dead gorgeous, but most every other parent there looked as bleary eyed as we did.

It was a comforting thing. Meanwhile, I still have yet to shower.

Happy Columbus Day! We are off to Bronx Zoo.

Forty years old and driving on a Learner's Permit?!

Last week, I finally bit the bullet and tried to get a New York State drivers license. Now I consider myself a pretty damn good driver, I passed my test in England at the ripe old age of 17 and have been driving in the States since 1989. I've received only two speeding tickets, both in the same summer balmy evening in South Caroline, in 1989 and on the same highway, 20 minutes apart (you would have thought I would have slowed down after the first pulling over, but clearly had did not).

I went online to the DMV, and was dismayed to learn that in the beautiful state of New York, British licenses AREN'T recognised (yet Canadian ones are?!) and I had to start from scratch.

It involved a drive to Coney Island, land of the hot dog, an interminable wait to get a number, an even longer wait to await that number being called, which led you to another room where I was subjected to a 20 minute multiple choice test. Now I haven't taken a test in about 20 years so I do admit to struggling a bit. Waiting for the results took one hour and twenty minutes (I do not jest), I PASSED (thank heaven, I got four wrong out of 20, you are allowed up to six wrong), then another endless queue to get my photo taken, only to discover I was in the wrong queue! By now my patience was running quite thin (as yours might be if reading this!) Hopped into the correct lane - 20 minutes or so later and voila - my mug was pictured. ANOTHER wait to pay (about 40 minutes this time) and a total of 4 hours and 35 minutes later I was out of there and crawling back on the BQE to pay the sitter who watched my children so I could go through this torture. $60 to the sitter, $80 for my permit, $20 parking and $20 to replace my book, Three Cups of Tea that is sitting somewhere in the Coney Island Department of Motor Vehicles.

I wish I could say this was the end of getting a New York license, but alas it's not. I now have to attend a FIVE hour seminar at a US Auto School, and then schedule an actual road test. I hate to sound so American but 'Are you EFFIN kidding me"???!! What about the 23 years I have been driving so far - does this account for nothing? Apparently, frustratingly, not!

It's raining rubble

Hi All

I guess it's what comes with living in a 100 year old building in Brooklyn. We live in a building that has retail space below, our apartment on one floor and just one other apartment above us, then the roof. The apartment upstairs has been vacant for a while since our dear friends B,B and V moved out in June (we miss you guys so much!)

Three girls moved in about two weeks ago and we hadn't met them yet. We were about to in not the most conservative of ways.

Monday morning, one of three girls took a shower, and in the process, our ceiling collapsed in our bathroom. Joe was working already so I left the kids watching Yo Gabba Gabba, halloween edition for the hundred and eighth time and bolted upstairs to make a fast introduction.

This poor stranger answers her door to my incessant banging wrapped in just a towel with me hastily explaining to please not flush toilets/wash hands or take showers until we got the problem sorted. Welcome to Greenpoint!!

Our dodgy Russian landlord dismissed it as a leaky shower in their apartment and came round to fix it with a replacement shower head (whhaaaattttt?!) Now I ain't no plumber but my limited plumbing experience told me this wasn't anything to do with shower heads. After many heated words, he finally agreed to a real plumber to come round who replaced the pipes and in the process almost killed himself working with water gushing down on him and exposed live wires threatening his time on earth at any given moment. I fear electrical problems to emerge shortly.

It was a week of mayhem - video to follow as simple words words can't convey the destruction that was. Anyway, we came out unscathed the only thing to take a battering were Spencer and Margaux's rubber duckeys who were last seen making a run for it.

Despite all this mess, there was one extremely positive aspect to come from this and that was that we got to meet our new neighbours, despite the circumstance. We got to know them all pretty damn fast having to share the one bathroom in the hall that isn't connected to this shady polish plumbing.

They all seem like wonderful girls and we can't wait to share this kooky building with them.